Fat Feet!

I have never been accused of having fat feet. I have always had very skinny and narrow feet. Even at 9 months pregnant my feet would never swell or get fat. Well the other day I was looking at them and I thought to may self, man my feet look fat.

I had an epiphany that I really need to do something about my weight. I have been working out like crazy since I have had the baby and I just haven't had much success. I also realized that it was time to get real with myself. I now weigh what I weighed when I gave birth almost 8 months ago. Who does that? You are supposed to lose weight when you have a baby not gain more. After I had Alesia I gained SO much weight and it took me 3-4 years of working my rear off and changing my whole lifestyle of how I ate. Eventually once I got the weight off I was even able to eat what I wanted and stay at the weight I wanted as long as I worked out a lot.

So here I am.... ready to get real with myself. I'll admit I do get way depressed at the thought of another 3 years of butt kicking workouts and eating like a vegetarian. Ugh! ( I hate that part) What worked after I had Alesia was for me to stay away from the scale. I had to tell myself that it had nothing to do with a number on the scale but that it was about being healthy. And if the numbers dropped eventually then it was just an added bonus. Also it took me being honest with myself about what drove me to get to that point. ( stress, depression and bad food choices)

I know what it is this time. I know I have been depressed for some time now. It is hard enough to have a new baby after not having one for a long time but it is even harder to have one with health problems. In fact at every doctors appointment we went to almost every mom I saw was overweight. I think it really takes a toll on your body. The lack of sleep, the stress and the lack of time for yourself really has played a huge role in my weight issues. Also I am going to get real about my numbers. This is so embarrassing for me to admit all of these but if I want to see it for what it truly is then I have to own it and make a change.(plus I don't think many people read this blog anyways so I'm not going to worry too much about it.)

I currently weigh 178 pounds. When I got pregnant I weighed 153 which was a great weight for me. I know some people would die if they weighed that but it was perfect for me and my 5 foot 9 height. I was healthier than I had probably ever been. The other day I gave in and bought a pair of Capri's at the DI and a pair of 10 dollar jeans at Maurice's. They were both size 17/18. I wanted to cry especially since the last pair of pants I bought before I got pregnant was a 9/10 or 11/12. I know that may not be real small but that is a HUGE accomplishment for me and I felt like that was a perfect size for me.

Anyways I am going to try to start fresh again. In the past I had to recommit myself everyday to making good choices and making daily exercise a part of my life. Hopefully I can stick with it and stay committed.