Promptings

Last weekend we headed up north for my nephews Eagle Award presentation. A few days before we left I told my husband I thought we should put some air in the tires on the car. On the day we left I even mentioned it again. He just kind of shrugged it off.

We made it to Tooele and had a great weekend with family. We were gassing up to leave Tooele and I mentioned once again to my husband that I thought we should put air in tires. Once again...Ignored.

Anyways we returned home safely Saturday. I went about the week without thinking anything more about the tires. On Friday while heading back home from my kids school, I ended up with a flat tire.

Yesterday my husband took the car in to get some new wheels and was told that nothing had gotten into my tire. It was just under inflated and wore it to pieces. Actually all four of the tires were under inflated and worn. He had told him that if I had been on the freeway it would have blown and I probably would have rolled the car.

I got thinking about how many times I had already been on that freeway during the week going 75-80 mph. Not to mention a whole trip up north and back. I also couldn't believe how many times I had been prompted and just didn't follow that prompting.

I think we always feel like the spirit will be a clear voice but sometimes it can come to us in a thought. In my case, a thought that continues to plague you until you listen.

I am SO grateful for the protective watchful eye that was placed over my family last weekend as we traveled. I'm also so glad I was only going 20 mph in a residential zone instead of 75 on the freeway. It was an expensive lesson to learn but I'm glad I was able to learn more about the way the spirit speaks to me.

What Were We thinking?

Emilio has wanted a drum set for the longest time. He is always drumming on anything he can find with pencils.

Well Carlos had a cousin who was getting rid of his drum set and he gave it to us. Well I should say he sold it to us. He would only take $30 for it. Talk about a score.

So now we have been in drummer heaven or at least Emilio is. So far the whole family loves hearing him play. Ask me in about a month if we still feel that way.

Get Your Bums to Smiths

I thought this pic. was appropriate since I used the word "bum" in my title. This is my cute nephew sleeping.




The proof: $108.00 in savings. Hard to see but its there!

If you haven't already been there. GET THERE! The sales are still going until Tuesday. I got 72 Powerades, 16 pkgs. of Pasta, 8- 3packs of bar soap, 8 deodorants and 6 packs of gum for $36.

Since my kids are so involved in running and soccer I thought it would be good to stock up on powerade.We usually pay at least a $1.50 for one every time we buy one before a soccer game or cross country meet. It is 25 cents if you buy 8 at a time. When I got to the register the checker even had extra coupons which made mine 17 cents a piece. And yes I did go back the next day and get 4 more cases. (We will go through those in no time flat) I was also able to restock all of my pasta in my food storage room. It was only 49 cents a pkg if you bought 8.

And my soaps and deodorants were a buck each. If you have coupons for these it makes it an even better deal. The gum was 69 cents a pack. My total savings was $108.00 Yippee for good deals!

Debby Downer

Have you ever seen the Saturday Night Skit of "Debby Downer." It is so funny. My Mom recently told me that my posts are too depressing. The last thing I want to do is portray myself as a Debby Downer. So I apologize if I have come off that way. I have been contemplating what she said and would like to offer some explanations to my posts.

First of all: I feel like my blog is just that. My Blog. No body has to read it. They can choose at anytime to not log on.

The last three years of running my business I felt like I had to live my life completely perfect. I couldn't let others see me struggle or go through hard times. I had to be strong, hold it together and stay in control at all times. Which ultimately left me falling apart.

I also feel like I am human. I have hard days I have good days. I have ups and downs. Some things make me happy and some things make me sad. I like to write about these things so that I can look back and see the progress I have made.

I realize at times I share some very personal feelings or struggles that I or my family are going through. I know that this isn't the right thing or comfortable thing for everyone else but it is for me. I feel like I have nothing to hide.

Have you ever heard about something happening to a dear friend and thought to yourself; If I had just known, I would have helped. Or I wished she would have shared that struggle because it really would have helped me. Well that's how I have felt lately. We can only truly help one another if we allow each other the safety and courage of opening up. How else will they receive the blessings of serving one another if we don't allow them or ourselves to share.

It makes me think of one of my favorite books. The Book Of Mormon. How could we ever learn if everything in it was so upbeat and perfect all the time. We would have no way to face our trials if we didn't have good examples from those who faced them before.

I realize that my sweet Mom grew up in a generation of....Hold your feelings in, don't share to much info and never let anyone see you fall apart. It in fact it has been that way in my family for many generations. All I have seen come from it is, unresolved issues, hurt feelings that never get mended and people having to struggle through trials alone. I have always wondered why depression runs so strong in my family. But looking back on the last sentence I just wrote, it makes it all so clear. Wow, I just had an epiphany. AMAZING!

Any how, I am choosing to make that different in my life. I want to share. I want to help others. I wan to allow others to help me. No body should ever have to face their trials alone. And no body should ever have to share their joys alone.

So, In celebrartion of my "Debby Downer" post. I am going to put a peppy upbeat song on my blog today.

Just Venting!

Beware! Beware! Beware! This is going to be one of those complaining posts. If you don't want to hear it just move on and don't read. I just need to vent after the last 2 days I have had.

I was called in to work yesterday and the day before to do speech for the morning shift for a sick gal at work. Which was just fine. It makes for a longer day but the extra hours are always nice.

I did say yes with some reluctance because I knew the classes she works in. One of the gals in one of the classes is....lets just say, "not very nice." She has a way of making others feel like crap. Especially Me! We have had some problems in the past but I have worked so hard to resolve them and move on. She on the other hand hasn't and probably never will.

I have to mention when I was looking for work again after closing my studio I kept praying to Heavenly Father that the school wouldn't be the answer. Specifically because of this person. As I went to reapply at the school after applying everywhere else I told the Lord to please not let it work out if it wasn't meant to be. Sure enough I got hired that day and have had to trust him in this.

Anyways, the last two days have been miserable. Since I began at the school at the beginning of Nov she has ignored me every time I see her. I continue to say Hi and just get shut down. She always mentions how her daughter takes dance from the best dance teacher there is in town and no one is better. She says mean things about my family and and always talks about how much money she has. This always happens on cue right as I walk in the classroom.

Before I went in to work yesterday morning my husband told me that he didn't know how much more of working overtime he could take. He woke up the other morning with bad chest pains and scared me badly. After evaluating the problem it seems that it might have just been a panic attack .He has been getting them a lot lately. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with all the extra work he does just for us to make it. He already takes medicine for his cholesterol (genetic reasons, he is very fit) and I know that police officers have a high rate of heart attacks because of all of the stress. It has left me contemplating on getting more hours at the school as they become available. It is the last thing I want to do. It makes the day very long and I already feel like my house is falling apart and I am missing all of my kids things not to mention feeding my family after 7 each night.

Back to my venting. This girls biggest complaint yesterday was whether she would buy a $500,000 house or a $400,000 house when they move this year and what school she can put her son in so he can be drafted out of high school to BYU.

I went home and looked at my old house that has been nothing but a money trap. I was exhausted from two long days at work and hugged my husband who was on his way out the door to do another overtime traffic shift knowing I wouldn't see him again until the next day. I checked in on my oldest son who has been suffering from terrible depression and just cried.

I know it is so dumb. I am better than this. I shouldn't let someone else get to me. I know I have the right to decide how my day is going to be. I guess I just don't understand how somebody can be so mean. I try so hard to ignore it. It is just so hard when it is happening intentionally. Everyone tells me to keep being the better person. Well I don't want to be the better person anymore! I have never had anyone hate me like this and it just plain hurts! I feel like I am a very nice person. I try hard to see the good in everyone even if they are not very nice. I am a very loyal friend and family member. I am also very forgiving. I don't like hurting others at all. I do feel like I carry myself with integrity and I am not afraid to stick up for those being treated poorly or defend my beliefs. Maybe that is what got me into this.

I firmly believe that there are lessons in everything. After so many years of this I am just struggling to find them.

I am trying to follow the Lords example. I know that this too will pass. Like I mentioned before, she is moving. It has just been hard. And I just needed to get it off my chest. My apologies to any of you that took the time to read this post.

Baptism

This last Saturday Alesia was baptized. I have been picturing this day for a long time. I knew that when we got here she would officially be growing up. It was a bitter sweet day for me.

She was baptized and confirmed by Carlos. He did such a good job. I know he was nervous but he prayed and prayed that he would get through it. And he did great! I still can't believe my husband who is a convert to the church has come this far. It makes me so proud.

Alesia got to share her special day with her good friend Kelcie Thomas. I still can't believe I didn't get a picture of the two of them together. They both had to be dunked twice. Alesia's fingers came up and Kelcie' foot came up. I think they were both nervous.

As soon as she got home she wrote down all of the special feelings she had from that day. She was excited to share the day with her family and friends. She also had her school teacher show up and that was a sweet little surprise for both her and Kelcie.

I sure love that little girl and am proud of the example she is to our family.

Go Away!

The last little while I have felt like Satan has been working on me. Usually I get up on Sundays, get the kids and myself ready and head out the door. The past few months it has felt like I am dragging myself to church with no desire to want to go at all. I had to force myself to read my scriptures yesterday because I knew I desperately needed to. Family Home Evening has been a bust the last few months (once again no desire) and now that summer is around the corner all I want to do is go back to my old ways of throwing on a tank top or summer dress without thinking about if it shows my G's or not. (clarification G's meaning Garmets not G string)

This is silly I know, my sweet little girl will be baptized tomorrow and I should be a better example. It has left me feeling like telling Satan to "GO AWAY!" Sometimes it is so apparent how much he knows me; he knows my weaknesses he knows my insecurities and he plays on them.

I feel like I have always been close to the spirit especially in the last 10 years of being active in the church. But it seems like at times I am the one running the show as far as spirituality. Don't get me wrong, Carlos does try. He just works so much and is rarely home on a Sunday or week night. So I am always left to pull the family in for FHE or prayers. Lately I have just felt like giving up on all of it. I know they depend on me to set the example but sometimes I just want to let someone else have a turn.

Now don't anyone get worried. I'm not giving up! Just venting. I will be back at church Sunday. I will continue to read my scriptures and I will continue to tell Satan to back off. I'll even try harder to follow the promptings I receive. I'm just hoping for more opportunities to feel the spirit more in my life right now and not the negativity. I think I'll start by putting a spiritual song on my blog.

Country Nights

I have said it in the past and I will say it again that I have always been kind of a "city girl". Maybe it is the love for shopping or the quick conveniences of being in a city with everything at your fingertips. I loved living in Salt Lake as a little girl and loved going downtown with my Mom when we would visit my Dad at work and then go out to lunch to eat.I loved going to Cherry Hill and Lagoon and watching the dollar movies at the Mall. Then we moved to the country.

I'll admit it. After living in the country all these years, there has been one thing that has always stood out and that is our beautiful sunsets. Last night my son and I were talking about how pretty the sky was and it reminded me of when I was in my teens and would go sit on the fence at our horse corrals (pre- horse allergy) and watch the sunset and just think. Of course I would always picture myself sitting on a beach in Hawaii but, the barn and corrals worked at the time.

So I guess I can say that I really love the quiet country nights with the sky on fire. And I'm not ashamed to say at one point in time I owned some boots. I'll even admit that one of my favorite songs is Big Green Tractor. And I had a lot of fun running through the fields and riding four wheelers in the hills with my friends.

The city may be where my heart is but I still have a love for our peaceful country nights.