Go Away!

The last little while I have felt like Satan has been working on me. Usually I get up on Sundays, get the kids and myself ready and head out the door. The past few months it has felt like I am dragging myself to church with no desire to want to go at all. I had to force myself to read my scriptures yesterday because I knew I desperately needed to. Family Home Evening has been a bust the last few months (once again no desire) and now that summer is around the corner all I want to do is go back to my old ways of throwing on a tank top or summer dress without thinking about if it shows my G's or not. (clarification G's meaning Garmets not G string)

This is silly I know, my sweet little girl will be baptized tomorrow and I should be a better example. It has left me feeling like telling Satan to "GO AWAY!" Sometimes it is so apparent how much he knows me; he knows my weaknesses he knows my insecurities and he plays on them.

I feel like I have always been close to the spirit especially in the last 10 years of being active in the church. But it seems like at times I am the one running the show as far as spirituality. Don't get me wrong, Carlos does try. He just works so much and is rarely home on a Sunday or week night. So I am always left to pull the family in for FHE or prayers. Lately I have just felt like giving up on all of it. I know they depend on me to set the example but sometimes I just want to let someone else have a turn.

Now don't anyone get worried. I'm not giving up! Just venting. I will be back at church Sunday. I will continue to read my scriptures and I will continue to tell Satan to back off. I'll even try harder to follow the promptings I receive. I'm just hoping for more opportunities to feel the spirit more in my life right now and not the negativity. I think I'll start by putting a spiritual song on my blog.