My Grandpa (warning it's long)

My boys with Uncles and Cousins


Emilio was an honorary pal bearer. He did not want to sit back and watch. So he decided to jump in and carry the end of the casket. I didn't realize he was going to do that until I saw him helping.He adored his Grandpa






Grandma


My brother Chris presenting the flag to my Grandma. He is a Major in the National Guard and led the military service. It was very special and emotional to watch this.


Chris saluting my Grandma


Grandpa pushing me on the swing


Grandpa and me


So handsome


Grandpa and Grandma


Grandpa holding my Mom


I let Grandpa babysit for me one time and this is how my Grandma and I found Alesia and him when we got back. Napping. So cute!


Grandpa and Emilio



Last Tuesday I lost one of the most important men in my life, My Grandfather. I have been reluctant to write anything about it because it seems to soon but I decided I had better do it while my emotions are still raw.

Some people may say, "that people lose Grandparents all the time and it is no big deal." But he was more than my Grandpa, he was more like a father to me. He got our family through some of the hardest times in our lives. Him and my Grandma selflessly gave up their home to my Mom and us kids and moved to a condo after my parents divorce. They also made sure we had a good vehicle and continually took care of us kids while my Mom was in school.I don't ever remember a time that they wouldn't drop anything for us. I truly did think that he walked on water.

When I married Carlos I told him someday I would lose my Grandparents and that it would be one of the hardest things I would go through. I WAS RIGHT. It is still hard to hold back the tears. (I'm sure being hormonal and pregnant isn't helping either.)

I have been blessed to live within minutes of my Grandparents home for several years.My husband and I have taken my kids over to their home almost weekly. Which seems like a lot but now I find my self wishing maybe we had gone more while my Grandpa wasn't feeling well. Every time I would go there I would tell myself to savor each moment because someday they would be gone. I still can't believe that day has come for my Grandpa. It happened too soon for me.

I haven't yet experienced that peace and comfort that is supposed to come to you when you lose someone you love. I am hoping that it will come soon. My husband thinks it is because I haven't allowed myself to let him go. Perhaps he is right. Selfishly I am still holding on.

All of us kids wrote a letter to put in a book of memories for his funeral. We titled the book "Our Grandpa, Our Friend" This is a copy of my letter.


"There is not enough words or enough tears I could cry to express how much I love and miss my Grandpa already. As a child I loved going to the horse races and auctions with him. I loved his sourdough pancakes and eating breakfast with him at the table while he drank his coffee and read the newspaper. I always thought he was so handsome. His size always made me feel safe, secure and protected.

As an adult he became more than someone I looked up to. He became my friend. When I worked at the hospital he would always stop by and say hi to me while he was working there too. I loved coming to work each day and seeing him sitting at the information desk. It made me feel at home. I would introduce him to all of the people I worked with beaming with pride that he was MY GRANDPA.

My Grandpa taught me that if your going to love someone, to love them with your whole heart. Although he loved to tease my Grandma there was never any question of his love and devotion to her. She has always been his sweetheart and will forever be his sweetheart.

He taught me that family was everything. You sacrifice for your family and do anything you have to for their well being. Even if it means you have to go without.

My Grandpa taught me how to drive a hard bargain. He taught me to always get your moneys worth in something you buy or a job done. Which has paid off for me when it has come to me buying vehicles. At times I have been accused of "being my Grandpa's Granddaughter." I'm glad to say that I will take that any day!

I'm going to miss his stories he would tell that we had already heard a million times. (In fact I already find myself wanting to say, "Grandpa tell me that story again.") I'm going to miss bumping into him every week at the grocery store. Or just being able to pop in and see him anytime. He taught me that it is okay to cry and that if you love someone you should tell them. I never left his house without him telling me that he loved me.

It is hard imagining going on without him. I know that I will never stop loving him or missing him but I know that in time it will get easier to let him go. And I know someday it will be a happy reunion when we all get to see him again. I'm grateful for the lessons he taught, my life has forever been changed for the better because he got to be my Grandpa. I love you Grandpa!
Kari

I wanted to also jot down a few of his sayings so I can remember them.

He loved to call Carlos "Carlas." Not because he didn't know his name because he thought it was funny.It would always crack me up. He would also tell him. "Whose watching the store" when Carlos had a day off. He was so proud of him for being a police officer. And Carlos has always thought the world of him.

"Put the board in the hole." When we would leave the font door open.

" Pass the bread, pass the meat, turn over your plates and start to eat." He would say this after every dinner prayer.

"Have you counted the chairs around your table." He would say this whenever one of us was having another baby.I heard this one a lot lately.

The night before he passed he looked at my pregnant belly and said. "Boy your getting fat." He was very excited about the birth of another grandbaby. I hope he is having fun with our little boy right now.

The last thing I said to him is...."I love you" and he said, "I love you too hunny." Little did I know that the next day he would be gone. I'm glad I didn't leave his house without telling him that.

Now it is time to pick up the pieces, wipe the tears and move on. It is time to help my Grandma and Mom (who might I mention , have been the glue that has held us all together through this hard time.) It is time to remember the old memories and make new ones with the ones we love.

I am lucky to have been loved so much as a little girl and a big girl by such a great man!