Third Trimester Tears

Well it finally happened. The hormones have taken over. I woke up the other morning just not feeling right. I called Carlos who was at work and told him that something was wrong and I just couldn't explain it. He asked me how the baby was and I said I thought he was probably fine. I told him that I just wanted to cry and couldn't explain it. I think a lot of it was that I had just had my last set of lab work done and my Rhogam shot. It made me realize that we are nearing the end and I had a little freak out session.

I have had a pretty good pregnancy. I'm not going to lie and say that there hasn't been ups and downs but I feel like I have been managing all of it as best as I can.I have enjoyed so much of it. I almost think my sadness is the thought of having to give it up soon. I really have been in love with being pregnant. Sadly, I have spent a lot of the time being worried about this little one. Probably since the day I found out I was pregnant I have worried. I guess I have just been in disbelief that the Lord is blessing us with another child after wanting and praying for this for so many years. Now I'm a little scared that I won't live up to his expectations.

I have to admit I am becoming more and more anxious as "the day" approaches. It doesn't help that Carlos is just as scared as I am. I have been having some struggles with my teens and it has left me wondering if I can be a good parent to another child. An amazing thing happens when your kids hit their teenage years. They have a way of making you feel like all you have done is ruined their life.You spend a lot of time replaying everything you have ever done while raising them and hope that they will like you again someday.You have to constantly remind yourself that it is a phase and pray that it will pass. I keep wondering if this little boy will like me. I have also worried that since it has been so long that I will forget what I am doing. Silly, I know.

Anyways, my husband has felt my recent apprehensions and he decided to give me a blessing the other day. It was a good relief to me and it reminded me of the fact that all I really need to do is trust in the Lord and have faith. It was so much like the blessing he gave me after almost a year of trying to conceive. I'm grateful for his willingness to use the priesthood when he knows that only the answers from my Heavenly Father will make me feel better. I also felt like it is okay to be scared and nervous and that my Heavenly Father won't leave my side when I feel that way.

So here we go... just about 2 and 1/2 months left. A new member of the family and a new adventure. No more third trimester tears. Wish us luck. We will need it.