When your 15

Me and my brothers




15 years old


Jr. Prom

I recently downloaded this song onto my Ipod for my girls. The song is fifteen by Taylor Swift.It is playing on my play list at the side of my blog if you want to hear it. I love to hear them sing their little hearts out. When they sing the words it makes me want to tell them to listen to what they are saying and remember the words for when they are that age.

My girls and I were listening to it and I couldn't help but think back to the days when I was 15. It really wasn't all that long ago. I am only 30 right now. It made me think about how I thought I had everything planned out back then. I'm a little embarrassed to say that I was in such a hurry to grow up at that time. I had already had a steady boyfriend. I had also gone to the Sweethearts Dance and Junior Prom as a freshman. I thought those past relationships and friendships would never end. I felt like I was on top of the world and that things would never change.

At that time, everything revolved around Dance for me. I was devoting several days a week to my dance classes, competing and preparing for Drill Team. I spent Friday nights at Football games and after game dances and was far too concerned about what others thought of me. I wasted a lot of time wishing I was someone I wasn't, and looking for approval. All I wanted was really to be wanted. It's like the song says, "You think if someone tells you they love you that they really do." Boy, what a wake up call to find out that isn't always the truth.

I remember having my heart broken several times by several different people and feeling like it would never heal.I also remember loosing friendships that I thought would never end.

Now I look at my son who will be 15 this year and I see in his eyes how bad it hurts to have your heart broken or to find out that someone is "just not that into you." I see him getting overwhelmed trying to juggle sports, school work, church and just having a little free time and my heart aches for him. It is such a tender age.I always tell him, "I know it's hard, but someday you will look back on this and realize those were some of the best days you've ever had.

Now I spend my days worrying about bills, making sure I'm being the best Wife and Mom and Friend I can be and hoping I'm doing the best for my family. Some things never change no matter how old you get. You heart can still get broken, you can still lose friendships you thought were dear and feelings can still get hurt. It's true that time does heal, but memories are still there. Sometimes I do wish my worries were the ones I had at 15 instead of the ones I have now. So like the song Say's "I found time can heal most anything. And you just might find who you are supposed to be. I didn't know who I was supposed to be at 15." I still don't always feel like I know who I'm supposed to be but I'm hoping each year I am getting a little better, a little less insecure and leading by example a little more.