Pity Party

Today I have had a major pity party. Lately I have been in a funk and can't seem to get out of it. I have recently been having some problems when I am exercising. I have noticed that my arms break out in an hot awful rash. It was terrible the last 5K I ran. And has become such a nuisance. So I decided to go to the Dr. today and try to get it figured out.

You will never believe what he diagnosed me with. An allergy to exercising. On top of it he said in worse cases it can lead to your airway closing off. What? Imagine the panic I have felt all day. Altering my lifestyle is just not something I feel like doing right now. Although reluctantly, I know I have to.

Well this is not the best thing to tell a girl who already struggles with anxiety and who definitely cannot go without exercising.

The one thing that diminishes a lot of stress in my life has caused a new stress for me. HENCE THE PITY PARTY.

I found every reason to feel bad about myself and situation today. My poor husband came home from work to a crying miserable wife. I told him about the weight I have gained. How I wish we could financially do more with our kids during the summer. How I wish we had a new house that didn't require so much physically and financially, how I wish he didn't have to work so hard and so many hours each week especially on his "so called" days off and of course my new allergy news. I also told him that I felt bad that he was married to a woman with asthma and terrible allergies that seems to limit us at times. (All of this while bawling my head off of course.)

Pathetic I know! Now I am just trying to focus on the new challenge that I have to deal with. Obviously, I know that others have struggles. Obviously, I know that mine are not the worst. Today it just felt like it. I have spent a lot of time on my knees praying today.

Before I started writing this post I decided to look at a blog of a Mom who not only has a daughter with special needs but lost her one year old son last year in a household accident involving the blinds.

How foolish I felt, and how wonderful it was to know that my Heavenly Father heard my prayers today and led me to that blog. I desperately needed a reminder of how we all have struggles, we all feel emptiness at times, we all think that our trials are so much harder than others,or that we shouldn't have to change what is comfortable and easy for us. But the most important thing I got was so simple. Three words we hear all the time " Count your blessings." How could I have missed that in my day of "Poor Me."

Tonight I am going to count my blessings because they are many. Maybe tomorrow I will wake up with a brighter perspective and greater appreciation for all the wonderful things in my life!